my blog

its the middle of the night and being the techno peasant that i am i
just discovered i have a blog

how did i not know that

and how did a lot of those e mails get forwarded to the blog

yikes

i thought this was stuff you each just decided to carry on your blogs

groan

do i now have to censor myself

that story about my brother was pretty personal but i guess its okay

here is something whoever is forwarding these posts can post

something i thought about

as you get older you start to become more and more opinionated like
me

i guess because you have lived so much your experiences form those
opinions

but here is something that has recently hit me

the blogs are teaching me that having opinions that are set in gold is a
mistake

for example each of your blogs has opened my eyes to see things
differantly

like dislike of technology wrong
and i am coming around a little

like dislike of out of control situations like jonathan in turkey or
the sahara
'wrong
whatevers going to happen is going to happen
as the little indian guru says in the movie reds sitting beside the
pool dangling his feet while war and pestilence occur around him

he says

vot vill be vill be
insert indian accent......
perhaps fear makes you realize what is valuable in life
which to me is this truism called
love .......

so old people get opinions and need to change constantly to stay young

heres what i learned on the weekend with jj and nick here visiting and
having a great time

tom and nick laugh a lot more than me at stupid stuff......
like the electronic invisible shield nicks uses to guide him on the golf
course
seeing the world through someone elses eyes
and finding new ideas amusing

i need to laugh more tom helps me to do this

like

jjs views of the world and my fears about my kids

let it go mom
groan i need to let those butterflies out of the bottle permanently my
kids are gone
and

everyones appreciation of my french garden house

i need to continue to create this is where i shine .......

and the reminder that rebecca and i are basically the same

so
my recipe
to stay young

drop the opinions especially those that are hard core like
why go to the sahara or turkey
or
finding lifes work jobs passions etc
this actually takes a long time for some people
or
finding lifes purpose is differant for everyone
and most of all keeping courage at the top of the page ........

courage to change
courage to grow
courage to admit weaknesses
courage to change opinions
courage to accept defeat
courage to continue to love
courage to find peace

these aspects i am working on every single day

and this is what my children gift me with every single day......

change and growth
you each teach me to change and grow
my children will keep me young ........

on sunday jj and i watched each others wedding videos

ahhhhhhhh so beautiful

remember this each time you make advances with your change and growth

a new life a new idea a new love

a new joy

love mommy

jonathan

of course the place i asked you not to go was turkey

and of course thats where you are

of course

i dislike turkey especially istanbul

however millions and millions in your hands to buy an icecream will be
interesting the currency is completely strange

now that you are there i would suggest three things

the sultans palace where the queens crown jewels look like nothing

and the blue mosque one of the most famous mosques in the world and

the four seasons hotel for sure one of the top in the world definitely
big time wifi in the lobby

and then the giant market largest in the world

i dont like turkey or middle east countries period

there is a certain sleezy male attitude especially towards women

i did not let rebecca or jj go anywhere without me

you watch it in their eyes there is a certain desperation about money
and women its very sleezy

and that sound at the crack of dawn you know that sound i make when you
all bug me and i put my fingers in my ears
lalalalalalalalalalalallalalalallalalalallalalla

you cant really tell whether the loud speakers are shrieking la or ala
it all runs together and it starts you day at about five or when the sun
is coming up

i dont like turkey and i dont like middle east countries although bill
says dubai is the only place thats worth it in the united emirates

so

i suspect you will go to dubai then home right

summers over and life and jobs and work and purpose are calling

you can only do that travel stuff for so long and then purpose calls

for me i am starting two adventures this fall

anyone thats interested can call me

love mommy

be extra careful jonathan in turkey the men have no respect for women
none

and dont do bad stuff

Re: adam dow...cheque...

i am sending a check in the morning

when i was thirteen a rcmp came to the door and said my brother woodrow
lamont adams aged 16 was in the hospital after an accident

drunk driving after a prom

and

he died several hours later the only spot that made him a little
differant was a small drop of blood out of his ear otherwise he seemed
perfect but dead

for at least two years i dont remember anything my mother did not want
me at the funeral i stayed at friends
i always thought about how could everyone at school seem so happy when i
had lost my brother and why was everyone so normal could they not feel
how painful it was for me
all i remember is that everything went gray

trees sky sun everything was gray for a long time
i think about two years

in the sixties no one knew what loss grief depression was like

no one knew about the affects of depression

woodrow was the brother that liked me he loved my strange ways
i loved him and thought he was so brave and adventuresome in spite of
wacko fundamentalist parents

sometimes i think about visiting his grave site

there is a spot inside of me that hurts

remember adam
remember woodrow

mommy when people hurt its important that you relate to them and stand
up for injustices and for loss and get that some people have it a lot
more rough than possibly you

the first time you feel deep loss is the start of your own awareness
about the depth of life and the awesome power that gives life and then
takes it away

my mother always made me sick to my stomach when she would say this was
gods will

yeah god and alcohol what a combination

so

live like there is no tomorrow but dont do drugs ecessive anything

and keep your life simple

and also

feel everything

loss
grief
pain

never stuff a feeling

feelings belong to you and you have your reasons for your depth of
feelings

feel and get it

emotional depth is one of the most powerful things in the world

it teaches you empathy

how to feel for others

feel for adams family
and for

woodrow

my brother

my hero

mommy

your blogs

jj you new blog is fantastic

and jonathan and duncan so incredible

and rebecca so creative

fantastic incredible creative brilliant

now how many times a day do you think i brag about all of you

looking out the window four in the morning at a fantastic summer harvest
moon

life

its quite something

n,est ce pas

love you all huge

please come to visit me soon

i miss all of you so much

awestruck

did you see the august harvest moon last night

tom and i were blown away by a most incredible event

we were invited to a private estate here in the avocado groves and a
concert was held on the green including symphony etc

under the moon and the stars

a previously unknown opera singer
named ANGEL JOY BLUE came on stage to sing summertime by gershwin

she is twenty two year old black student six feet tall attending ucla

her voice was not unlike kiri kanawa new zealands great moari singer
that at age sixty continues to wow audiences around the world

this young girl sang three arias and then after the concert visited with
the guests

something about her voice under the stars late at night singing gershwin
did it for me
that same feeling you get in life where you just go oh wow the
pleasure of being in the company of greatness

when the hair on the back of your neck stands up from a voice you
know you are experiencing something quite incredible

under the august full moon with a symphony in full swing and the voice
of an angel

you gotta love being awestruck

hope you saw the summer moon last night

as ever
love maggie
remember her name

ANGEL JOY BLUE

Adam Dow Fund

My friend Matt's brother Adam & sister-in-law Kelly were involved in a
tragic accident on the weekend. They are a young couple, new parents
to two little twin boys. They were attempting to put up a flag pole
when it hit some hydro lines. Matt's brother Adam, was electrocuted.
He is now in the hospital, and has undergone 3 surgeries including
skin grafts, and the amputation of both his arms. He is very badly
hurt. Kelly had some burns, but is physically okay.

Adam Dow remains in the hospital in critical condition. Without our
help, they will face financial hardships. That is why there has been
a fund set up to help them through this. Any amount will help. This
is a secure site set up through PayPal. Thank you!!!

http://theradblog.typepad.com/theradblog/2005/08/the_adam_dow_fu.html

Please forward this to everyone you know...

life . sharing my son jonathan and his travels with all of you

i was reading the following in my french garden house that tom recently
built for me. sort of my dream garden house that i wanted my whole life
.a room of my own .

the following......

Everything that matters in our intellectual and moral life begins with
an individual confronting his own mind and conscience in a room by
himself.

arthur schlesinger.

We should always keep for ourselves ,a little back shop, all our own,
untouched by others,in which we establish our true freedom.

montagne

a soul can create only when alone

abraham joshua heschel

solo time ain t it grand.....

happy birthday jonathan

you are my idol..your photos and travel stories rock.

theradblog.com

how marvelous to be in malta alone on your 29th birthday

jj and rebecca and i had such a great time there in malta on our way to
the greek islands and turkey

i am sending your blog to people on my A list this morning wishing you a
great birthday big hug and kiss every person on this list gets it
jonathan time to be alone quality time by ones self

ahhhhhhhhhhh

a night in the sahara

a night in the sahara

http://theradblog.com